Don't know what to make of this... but I wrote it and some people seem like it.
The interviews trudged along. Not a single candidate today seemed to have a proposal worthy of funding. A web startup here, an overzealous R&D project there, and some consumer products so bland their only market are chronic infomercial viewers. There wasn't a hint of gusto in the lot.
One particular fellow droned through his slides, and was quickly dismissed as the rest. We make it a point of not revealing our decision until after the interview, but after six days of cramming down mouthfuls of sludge it becomes difficult to act thankful to the people handing it out. He must have noticed our lack of interest, for at first he refused to leave. He insisted on getting a yes.
It was, at first, entertaining. Then a mild nuisance, then annoying, and finally irritating beyond our ability to cope. I grabbed my phone, screaming over him that I was calling security. That is when he dropped his pants.
"My dick is on the table," he said as a tear collected under his eye, "You've got to respect that."
We stood there, staring at him and his phallus for some time. Security arrived a few minutes later and dragged the half naked man away, and for the most part I was thankful.
Later that night I found myself unable to sleep. I felt trapped by the memory of his words, unable to distract myself for more than a few moments with any other thought. The man had put his dick on the table. Did I have to respect that? It was certainly, a somewhat respectable penis. A few notable veins in places I did not expect, but not in any way that made it seem alien or unlikeable, simply different. Size-wise I had only seen larger in porn, but small enough that it didn't frighten in any sort of uncanny way. Only in a commanding sense, I finally decided.
His imposition haunted me for days. All I could do was ask myself: did I have to respect that? Did his dick make his point? Was there no way to turn away from a man who earnestly, without fright, without reservation, places his own genitals on a table for everyone to see? To put himself on the line and prove that he was "all in." Did he have the gusto?
On Monday when I came back to work, I decided he did. Ten million in venture capital now funds what may one day be his corporate empire.